I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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