So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
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his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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