The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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