I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
