We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
