I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
