I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
