Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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