Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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