Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im six kinds of drunk right now
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize