WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
