anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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