Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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