You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
