ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Randomize
