How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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