Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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