She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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