Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
