Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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