Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
