This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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