I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
