Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
