my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
