How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
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just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
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other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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