i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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