I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize