If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
