allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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