Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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