my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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