yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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