You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
