I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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