i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize