i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
