i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
