Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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