It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
