yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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