Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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