She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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