new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
