Its about making memories worth repressing
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
