I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
