Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize