Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My cat gives me a boner
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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