listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
