I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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