I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
