He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
