walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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