my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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