You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize