he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
