I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
