I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
