I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just cropdusted the office
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
