Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
