uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
