I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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