he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
