Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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