that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
